The Matrix Musical
by liquid metal muse
Summary: Agent Smith, Neo, Trinity, Morpheus and other Matrix characters are the stars of this musical. Warning: the sillyness rubs off... Thanks to The Chosen Shadow for the inspiration!


Another Matrix day dawned. Agent Smith opened his eyes and smiled. The sun was shining, birds were singing and the sky was blue. Life was great. He loved it. He was going to make the best of this day. 

A few moments later, Agent Smith got out of bed (well, not really but he liked to fake regular human behaviour) and danced his way to work, which was basically a big surprise, each and every day. Sure, some would venture that there's actually such a thing as a job description for the things that Smith does, but others are sane. Smith could supervising a kindergarten one moment, play doctor (or nurse or both. Even an Agent needs a good shag once in a while) the other moment or he could simply go around killing disobedient humans. Yes, life can be fun if you're an Agent.

'I'm siiiiinging in the rain, lalalalala' Smith sang, twirling around while he was getting pretty soaked.

Smith tried to recall the rest of the song but failed miserably. He then tried something else, something he had made up when he was taking a shower.

'I see roses and daisies  
and their colour reminds me of your hair  
it's totally not fair, because I really care  
for your beautiful hair.  
I see bees, horses, cats and ants  
And guess what darling,  
Oh guess what sweetheart  
All those busy, writhing, moving ants  
Remind me of your pants!'

A few steps away from the building where he was supposed to spend the day supervising some of the Matrix's minions eh ehm inhabitants, a leather-clad figure was standing, apparently smoking a cigarrette.

'Oh no you don't' Smith mumbled under his breath and he stepped up to the guy.

'Well well well, Mr Anderson. How are we today?'

'Good, Smithy my boy. Very good. I'm just enjoying a fag, that's all. What are you planning to do on this exciting rainy day that's just like every other goddamn day in this stupid digital world?'

'I am going to make sure that you stay out of my sight. Go, shoot, get lost!'

Smith waved his hand pathetically at Neo, who had to bite his tongue in order to keep his face straight. He managed not to show any emotion. He always managed that. One would think he simply wasn't capable of emotion.

Neo shook his head, threw what was left of the cigarette into the gutter and tapdanced his way to the middle of the deserted street.

'Oh Smithy, Smithy my dear old boy,  
just look at yourself you're such a mess  
Do you think we all have to guess  
What has happened to you last night?  
Was it the booze or the sex or did you get a fright?  
Why lie about it? Anyone can tell  
And don't forget about the smell  
Of dirty underwear and a sticky vest  
Is it really what you do best?  
Go around and party like a pig  
I saw you dancing in that wig  
It was awfully pink and the skirt  
Didn't match with the yellow shirt  
Oh but not to worry, we won't  
Tell your colleagues, we won't  
Say a word.'

Smith clenched his fists and hissed: 'You sneaky bastard, you shouldn't have seen me, you werent supposed to be there!'

'Weeeell, I suppose Agents also need a bit of time off, but you really went for the extravaganza, innit?'

'Cut it out with that awful Cockney imitation. Go watch _EastEnders_ and then come back to convince me.'

The truth was that Agent Smith didn't have a clue what Neo was referring to. He didn't remember. In fact, he woke up without the usual hangover – damn you Skynet, errr Matrix for making me experience human feelings! – or a pulsing head ache. He felt great. He felt… amazing.

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A/N: yes, this is awfully short. I'm now going on a little writing break, but I'll be back in a couple of months. Okay maybe I'll post the second chapter next month, who knows.

I have to thank The Chosen Shadow for inspiring me. I was thinking of something funny and even silly and a musical can only make it better.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters. (too bad about that)


End file.
